my year in review

ok so I was kinda thinnking about all that's happened the past year and it's just crazy! if you would have told me last year that I would become a memeber of the civil air patrol, catch my girl friend cheatin on me, be on 4 different relationships! there's no why I would have belived you lol ooo what a year I can't wait to see what happens next year :)

I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!!

haha yes it's me i came back,
me and Laina are still togeather (goin on 5 months (wow)) still love her with everything I got.
summer was ok nothing (really) big happened except for vacation in Oceanside cali, i'm so gona move out there once im out of the millatary or when ever I loved it and hated o leave...now I really really miss it lol!

God bless
Nathan

hi!

yes hi im still alive yay! how was everybody's 4th of july? mine was amaizing Laina went with me and the fam to see fireworks we had an amaizing time.

update

not much's goin on here just glad that schools out! me and laina are doing ok but im sill alive so that's great lol!

God bless
Nathan

what does being homeschooled an being an animal at the zoo have in common?

Trust me there's alot! I've been thinking about this for the last few weeks an it is like being a animal at the zoo, you can see other people and see what there doing but your more or less traped in a cage and can't do anything about it! Now still on my animal kick (deal with it!) Lets just say that a penguin's talkin with a hawk the hawks goin on about how cool it must be to fly an's going on about it, then you have the penguin sayin no dude it's really not that great it's goda be 10 times funner to fly! welp it's kinda the same way when your homeschooled, you got people tell you, "o it's goda be so cool to be homeschooled! you can sleep in, do yuor school work in your p.j.'s yada yada yada" an you have the homeschooled kid goin, "no it really ain't that great! you have friends that you can see! you have a lift people know who you are outside of church you can go hang out with friends on fridays!" it's not as cool as people thing inside of school I guess but outside of it...............it's lonely as soon as you get to high school it sucks! makes it even worse with stuped state rules with sports but that's a different soap box an im not gona go there.

God bless,
Nathan

update

Things here are freakin great! Laina's the greatest thing to ever happen to me every time i talk to her I have to chuckle at myself an say, "how the heck did I get her?" she's freakin perfict in every way, no girls ever made me feel this way, I know I've told other girls that I've lovd them but nothing comparts to how much I love her. lol ya that's been my life for the last 5 days like it or not.

God bless,
Nathan

lets see how far we've come!

Ok, so today I was looking back through all my back post, an I couldn't help but see how far i've come and what's happened an how much I've learned since December, I still think I have a ways to go but this seems like one heck of a start.

God bless,
Nathan

well'p I can just call that life!

So last Saturday I was writing about how Becca and my relationship seemed bi-polor, then Sunday she in a very dumb way broke up with me an blamed it on my parents! So Thus I was really reallly upset for the rest of the day. So then Monday we didn't talk at all, so Tuesdays come around and she calls me from school an starts sayin how sorry she is yada yada yada lets get back togeather! so after thinking about it for a bit an talking to a few people I ask her back out, an then a bit after I start really second guessing myself an after talking to more people (the ones who told me no don't do it!) I broke back up with her, ya she wasn't happy about that a kept sayin she would kill herself an crap, then to find out not 18 hours she has a new guy an starts rubbin it in my face, which I didn't care about cus I'd already been talking to some freakin amaising girl since way befor me and Her were goin out. the coming to Saturday night im on my way home from columbus just finshed texting Laina (the girl i'd be talkin to forever) an Becca text m and's like im single so i say " sorry to hear that im not going to be for long.....ya she flipped out! o well screw her I don't need her! Ok so last night after prayin my butt off all day I asked Laina out we talked on the phone for like an hour an 15 minuts she's freaking 100 time better than Becca could ever dream of being! O ya an she said yes so im happy :D

God bless
Nathan

if your going through Hell keep on moving

ugh I keep tellin myself I must be doing something right becaues it seems like everything I do he devils there trying to screw everything up from, my internet becoming crupt an having to wait a week to get my school pc to work right, to a family friend of Becca's saying that she needs a guy that can talk on the phone all the time (good gosh lady chill out it's ok if we run out of things to talk about an like to hear eatch other breath! that's life sometimes!!!) and my siblings trying to push me to the edge every chance they get ugh!!!!! I don't know what to do I need all this crap to stop I'm not gona stop! I love her an im doing whats right, I don't give a flip what happens (.....no I guess I kinda do) I'm scared that somethng might happen berween me an Becca cus of what her prents (even my parents) and other people say, I don't wana break up! She needs me an I really need her! ugh i know im going through hell im gona keep on truckin not gona slow down I scard but not showing it I pray i get out before the devil even knows im there (might be a little to late for that though!)



Pray for me!

Nathan



Ps please get more people to follow me I have one follower an i feel like im doing nothing but venting.

ugh I don't know anything except I love her.

Todays been a freaking mess for me im just really unhappy want something just not sure what I miss Becca like hell (even if it's only been 2 days), I feel lost and don't know wht to do except pray my butt off! an I kinda wish I could curl up in a ball and die i don't know what the F***"S wroung with me!!!

Please pray for me!
Nathan

trust easy to lose hard to gain back.

Ok this has been racking my brain for a few weeks now,
If you have seen some of my older post you'll see that my girl friend at the time had been cheating on my for i don't know how long more than 4 weeks though, and now thanks to her I have found it very hard to trust Becca. Do I want to trust her? yes but i still have Vic in the back of my mind knowing what she did to me an how much it hurt. I don't know what to do about all this crap other than try to trust her.

God bless
Nathan

update I guess

Finaly got to hang out with Becca yesterday, o my gosh she's awsome! If there's any one that I want to spen the rest of my life with it would be her in a heart beat!

God bess,
Nathan

teen guy + love = who knows what!

lol the tital kinda says it all! yes I'm a dating mess that could explain why i feel like a bit of a player. I don't think online dating when the other person's freaking 12 hour car trip aways really ever works out. But i did find a great girl that thank God lives like 5 minutes away she's beautiful she's awsome i love her! O my gosh I hope this works out! ( I love you Becca!)

God bless,
Nathan

haha what have I got myself into???

ugh I starting helping one of my friends (Paige yes the same girl thats my ex) with a bunch of her probs and yes im helping her alot but she does stuff to screw it all back up! Some times i don't know what to do but im praying my butt off and doin what i can!
O ya the girl that said she was going 2 kill me send me a email saying she was really sorry and she was just going through hard time and just got really mad so were cool now!

love and life sucks

sadly me and Paige only last a day thanks to her parents not being very happy that it was online when mine were! Then the girl who I had to say no to has siad she's going to kill me and Paige if she ever see's one of us! Ya im kinda glad I said no she seems to be a bit of a phyco, I'm glad I almost always have a pocket knife on me (I live in the country it's kinda a must have!)(no I never plan on useing it on any one) Im glad he doen't know where I live. Ya so now i'm a bit uneasy right now i have alot going on. Pray for me.

God bless
Nathan

wow life can be even more of a shock!

ok I was talking with another ex (Paige) and she brough up getting back togeather which I was all for and so now I think God mnt me to hold of till her and not Vic ugh! ok s after 2 hours of txting me and Paige are back togeather couldn't be happier (o ya reason why not vic even if I could I don't think I would right now she said yesterday that she needed some time to get over Joey so im going to talk that as a maybe later)

hu life can be a big shock!

Kinda funny thing happened to my last night, So there was this gilr I met online really cool and sweet and we had talked about going out, and so I just keep praying "lord is this what I should do" and I kept hearing something inside say "no wait just a little bit" an then she pm-ed me and asked, "are we goiong out yet?" and I was about to say yes but I more or less choked and said "well do you want to?" and at that same time I was talking to my ex (which I still love more than anything) and what pops up in my chat windown? "hey guess what im single!"Ya I about passed out but not after I asked her back out (she said to give her a few days to get over him) wow good things come to those who wait!

update

Schools still taking over my life, Paige sadly broke up with me (I understand why she did it and I'm ok with it). ya that's about it now just waiting to record SG's T for teen ep5.

God Bless,
Nathan

happy v-day eeryone

I wish I could be with my girl this weekend but i don't have 130 bucks for a plane ticket o well, baby I love you.

schooles taking over my life!

Wow schooles been keeping me really busy, still searching for the one. for some unknown reason i've been really tired the last few days grrrrrrrrr. well there's my update now back to comp lit that I have to have turned in a few hours!

update

sorry I haven't been on for a few weeks schools keeping me busy! ok ya so im still single.....and hating it! haha but right now im just think it all over, ya im now on a video game podcast (sarcasticgamer T for Teen show) freaking love it! so ya that's what i've been up to.

shoot me a line and tell me how much you love or hate this at nathanf93@aim.com

Nathan,

Cheaters never win

:sigh: after a week of not getting ahold of her I got a im from a friend saying, "dude she's cheating on you!" me being protective of her and knowing the other kid was a LBB (living breathing butthead) lashed out and said, "NO! thats BS she's not!" and then after he kept telling me yes she is she told my sister (which is one of her best friends). ya so being crushed i picked up the phone and called....nothing next text I say hey we need to talk 2 minutes later i get back " ya? what's going on baby?" and i told her the whole story ending with, "what the hecks going on tell me or (haha I can't remember what i said something about being done i know that)! fastfoward to today (saturday) i did that on wedneday i still haven't got anything from her! Ok back to wednesday after waiting 15 minutes I just got fed up talked with my parents and desided that we were done (didn't want to do it but i knew I had to). that night the same guy that told me in the first plase came up to me whith his friends cell and showed me a thext from her saying "yea me and (im not going to say the LBB's name here) are going out what about it! so you know what girl F you! im sorry but cheaters never will win in the end!

we've got to hold on and work things out it doesn' even matter if we make it or not!

idk now it's been over a week and i haven't got hold of her her cell's been disconected or something she hasn't been online and there home phones screwed up :sigh: i don't know what to do now!