what does being homeschooled an being an animal at the zoo have in common?

Trust me there's alot! I've been thinking about this for the last few weeks an it is like being a animal at the zoo, you can see other people and see what there doing but your more or less traped in a cage and can't do anything about it! Now still on my animal kick (deal with it!) Lets just say that a penguin's talkin with a hawk the hawks goin on about how cool it must be to fly an's going on about it, then you have the penguin sayin no dude it's really not that great it's goda be 10 times funner to fly! welp it's kinda the same way when your homeschooled, you got people tell you, "o it's goda be so cool to be homeschooled! you can sleep in, do yuor school work in your p.j.'s yada yada yada" an you have the homeschooled kid goin, "no it really ain't that great! you have friends that you can see! you have a lift people know who you are outside of church you can go hang out with friends on fridays!" it's not as cool as people thing inside of school I guess but outside of it...............it's lonely as soon as you get to high school it sucks! makes it even worse with stuped state rules with sports but that's a different soap box an im not gona go there.

God bless,
Nathan

update

Things here are freakin great! Laina's the greatest thing to ever happen to me every time i talk to her I have to chuckle at myself an say, "how the heck did I get her?" she's freakin perfict in every way, no girls ever made me feel this way, I know I've told other girls that I've lovd them but nothing comparts to how much I love her. lol ya that's been my life for the last 5 days like it or not.

God bless,
Nathan

lets see how far we've come!

Ok, so today I was looking back through all my back post, an I couldn't help but see how far i've come and what's happened an how much I've learned since December, I still think I have a ways to go but this seems like one heck of a start.

God bless,
Nathan

well'p I can just call that life!

So last Saturday I was writing about how Becca and my relationship seemed bi-polor, then Sunday she in a very dumb way broke up with me an blamed it on my parents! So Thus I was really reallly upset for the rest of the day. So then Monday we didn't talk at all, so Tuesdays come around and she calls me from school an starts sayin how sorry she is yada yada yada lets get back togeather! so after thinking about it for a bit an talking to a few people I ask her back out, an then a bit after I start really second guessing myself an after talking to more people (the ones who told me no don't do it!) I broke back up with her, ya she wasn't happy about that a kept sayin she would kill herself an crap, then to find out not 18 hours she has a new guy an starts rubbin it in my face, which I didn't care about cus I'd already been talking to some freakin amaising girl since way befor me and Her were goin out. the coming to Saturday night im on my way home from columbus just finshed texting Laina (the girl i'd be talkin to forever) an Becca text m and's like im single so i say " sorry to hear that im not going to be for long.....ya she flipped out! o well screw her I don't need her! Ok so last night after prayin my butt off all day I asked Laina out we talked on the phone for like an hour an 15 minuts she's freaking 100 time better than Becca could ever dream of being! O ya an she said yes so im happy :D

God bless
Nathan

if your going through Hell keep on moving

ugh I keep tellin myself I must be doing something right becaues it seems like everything I do he devils there trying to screw everything up from, my internet becoming crupt an having to wait a week to get my school pc to work right, to a family friend of Becca's saying that she needs a guy that can talk on the phone all the time (good gosh lady chill out it's ok if we run out of things to talk about an like to hear eatch other breath! that's life sometimes!!!) and my siblings trying to push me to the edge every chance they get ugh!!!!! I don't know what to do I need all this crap to stop I'm not gona stop! I love her an im doing whats right, I don't give a flip what happens (.....no I guess I kinda do) I'm scared that somethng might happen berween me an Becca cus of what her prents (even my parents) and other people say, I don't wana break up! She needs me an I really need her! ugh i know im going through hell im gona keep on truckin not gona slow down I scard but not showing it I pray i get out before the devil even knows im there (might be a little to late for that though!)



Pray for me!

Nathan



Ps please get more people to follow me I have one follower an i feel like im doing nothing but venting.

ugh I don't know anything except I love her.

Todays been a freaking mess for me im just really unhappy want something just not sure what I miss Becca like hell (even if it's only been 2 days), I feel lost and don't know wht to do except pray my butt off! an I kinda wish I could curl up in a ball and die i don't know what the F***"S wroung with me!!!

Please pray for me!
Nathan

trust easy to lose hard to gain back.

Ok this has been racking my brain for a few weeks now,
If you have seen some of my older post you'll see that my girl friend at the time had been cheating on my for i don't know how long more than 4 weeks though, and now thanks to her I have found it very hard to trust Becca. Do I want to trust her? yes but i still have Vic in the back of my mind knowing what she did to me an how much it hurt. I don't know what to do about all this crap other than try to trust her.

God bless
Nathan